


Tea For Three

by blackat140795



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Fluff, Harry Hart Lives, Harry is annoying and pushy, Tea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-07 15:44:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackat140795/pseuds/blackat140795
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Hart impresses his tea preferences on... well... everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harry and Merlin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Adaridaba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adaridaba/gifts).



“I don’t know how you can drink this swill,” Harry commented as he leaned irritatingly against Merlin’s desk. He clutched Merlin’s favorite mug in his left hand. The other hand held Merlin’s pilfered clipboard, which was being repeatedly bounced off the table. Both had been stolen despite their owner’s protests.

Merlin sighed and resisted the urge to strangle his closest friend. Harry would put up too much of a fight, and Merlin was already far too tired to deal with this. The entire day had been a fiasco of the biggest degree. Two ops had gone wrong almost simultaneously. This resulted in Merlin spending four hours trying to find and get back up to a kidnapped Percival in Kazakhstan while also guiding Kay through an underground labyrinth filled with two hundred security guards trying their best to riddle him with bullets. On top of that, someone in tech had managed to blow up his latest prototype, the Rainmaker. The souped up umbrella could do many things. Shoot shotgun pellets, stun darts, amnesia darts, and protect the bearer from bullets. Exploding was not on the intended usage list.

Faced with starting all over, on what looked like was going to be about three hours of sleep once all his reports were done, he really had no left over energy to deal with another tea lecture from Harry Hart.

“Give that back,” he snapped while grabbing his abused clipboard, “and go bother someone else!” To Merlin’s immense surprise, Harry seemed to listen for once. Pushing off the desk (and upsetting his paperwork, because even when following directions Harry was a little shit) Harry strolled off across the room. Taking a moment to enjoy his small but rare victory, Merlin reached for his mug. Which Harry still had.

Deciding that hunting Harry down and violently retrieving his tea required too much energy, Merlin just let loose another sigh and turned back to his incident reports. Damn paperwork. He didn’t even get through the first page of Percival’s report though before his mug returned to his desk. Unfortunately, there was still an irritatingly smug agent attached to it.

“Gentlemen do not drink tea potent enough to poison half of Britain,” came that irritating agent’s voice from somewhere above Merlin’s left ear. 

“I’m not a gentleman, I’m Scottish,” Merlin huffed back, without raising his eyes from the tiny black print. Harry laughed quietly, puttered around Merlin’s office a few minutes more, then finally left him alone with his growing headache.

As the door closed, Merlin turned to glare suspiciously at his mug. The tea was much lighter than his usual, which meant Harry had watered it down. It was also giving off a distinct lemony scent, Harry’s signature addition to just about any drink. 

He could go make another cup. Just to spite Harry, and because Merlin was pretty sure this fruity thing would not be strong enough to stave off the impending headache after action reports brought on. That would, however, require going all the way up to the kitchenette two floors up. He really needed to talk to Arthur about getting his own quarters down here. Or getting more time off. Merlin made a face as the lemon hit his tongue, though it was cut by ths sugar Harry must have also added. It was… not terrible. Merlin refused to admit more that that.

Two hours later, Harry returned to the lab to find his tech wizard fast asleep across his paperwork, next to an empty mug of tea. Whatever Merlin said, he was not unnecessarily smug about it.

And no matter what Harry said, Merlin’s breath did not gradually begin to smell like lemon over the next few months. And no, the sugar Percival knocked over that once in Merlin’s new kitchen was not for tea, thank you very much.


	2. Eggsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy's turn!

Harry and Eggsy

Recruits and sponsors weren’t really supposed to have a lot of contact, under the assumption that the agents may give the recruits tips on what was coming up in the training. However, true to form, Eggsy often ended up in the Kingsman kitchen taking tea with Harry. Galahad had never been one for rules, and Merlin had long ago ceased trying to make him fall in line.

Figuring his recruit had a similar disdain for rules, Harry didn’t even bother pretending to be surprised the first time he found Eggsy sitting on the chrome countertops. He merely gave the young man a disapproving look for sitting on the countertop.

“Aren’t you supposed to be studying for your next test?” he inquired. Eggsy rolled his eyes and hopped off the counter, allowing Harry full access to the tea cupboard.

“Merlin hinted that out next “test” is boosting a car. I could do that in ma sleep, handcuffed and blindfolded.” Eggsy cocked his head. “Actually, done it handcuffed before. Catching Harry’s second disapproving glance, Eggsy held his hands up in supplication. “Hey, wasn’t my fault. They was Dean’s drugs, I was just tryna get em outa the house.”

“Yes, well. Dubious Extracurriculars aside, I suggest you take your tea back to the barrack before Merlin is forced to come looking for you. If you annoy him enough he may actually decide to handcuff and blindfold you for your test.”

“Promise,” Eggsy asked cheekily. Harry absolutely did not roll his eyes, as that would have been ungentlemanly. He did however cock an eyebrow at the carton of cream Eggsy emerged from the fridge with.

“You understand that the addition of so much milk and cream adds a substantial number of calories to an otherwise healthy drink, don’t you?” he commented dryly.

“That right?” Eggsy responded. He looked Harry straight in the eye with his trademark grin as he dumped half the carton into his small cup. Harry narrowed his eyes, and made a point of adding his sugar and lemon in the most obvious way possible. He then followed his cheeky recruit out of the room, making a mental note about asking Merlin to handcuff the recruits for their next test. 

 

Eggsy continued taking his tea with Harry even after the fiasco with Professor Arnold. He’d talk about anything – how great Roxy was, or how annoying Charlie was, testing, shooting, Merlin. As more and more guys got cut, Eggsy began looking forward to tea as a time to escape from Charlie’s taunting. He would complain about how Charlie said Eggsy only remained as a charity case, and make valiant and impassioned arguments to Harry’s passive form. Harry never replied to Eggsy’s rants, but Eggsy didn’t mind. 

He brought Harry’s tea every day. The first two weeks or so it would end up on Merlin’s desk – reheated, of course. Eggsy really didn’t enjoy being dumped out of airplanes regularly. But after a while he started drinking Harry’s tea as well as his own, just to delay the time before he’d have to leave the hospital room and rejoin the other recruits. Eventually, he even stopped making his “cream monstrosity,” as Harry called it. Easier to make two of the same thing, he justified to himself. And even if Harry had been in a coma for months, when he woke up he wouldn’t even consider drinking Eggsy’s tea.

Eggsy was proven right the day after Harry awoke. Merlin and Harry turned as Eggsy walked into the room with his two cups. Harry’s disapproving look hadn’t changed a bit.

“Gentlemen knock when they enter a room,” he reprimanded. Catching a glimpse of the tea cups in Eggsy’s hands, he frowned and continued, “And you’d better not have two of those cream monstrosities in those cups.”

Merlin shook his head as Eggsy exited the room later.

“You are the only person I know stubborn enough to force other people to like your kind of tea,” he informed the other man. “And your boy is using up all the lemon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up on Harry's list - the lovely Roxy.
> 
> Also, I'm American trying to imitate a British accent. I'm doing my best, but if you have any tips or corrections, feel free to let me know.


	3. Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy, and a few other members of Kingsman.

This was all Harry Hart’s fault.

It was the only coherent thought Roxy could conjure up as she sat in HQ, glaring between the three men asleep on the couch across from her and her cup of tea. Her cup of lemon tea with sugar.

She’d watched Eggsy’s tea slowly morph into Harry’s tea. She’d watched Merlin drink Harry’s tea when he was, inevitably, late to some appointment. She’d known Harry had this thing where everyone around him started drinking his kind of tea. It’s just that she’d never figured it would extend to her, especially considering that the man in question had been in a coma for two months.

After defeating Valentine, there had been a lot of clean up to do. London Kingsman had lost three agents besides Chester, the others had to be retrieved from various places in the world, and almost every government in the world needed help rebuilding in the aftermath of V-Day. But as soon as Merlin had sent the other agents out to help rebuild and return the kidnapped dignitaries to their homes, he took Lancelot of Eggsy, now Galahad, to retrieve Harry’s body.

It had been a shock to arrive and find out that Harry was still alive and in a coma. Eggsy’s face had run a gauntlet of emotions, ranging from relieved to fearful and finally settling on a reluctantly hopeful expression. Merlin had of course been much more stoic, but even he couldn’t hide the hope entirely. After medivacking him back to London, the two had set up shop and barely left the med wing from that point until Harry woke two months later.

Between his duties as Merlin and the assumed duties of Arthur, Merlin barely had time to breathe. But he was still a constant figure in Harry’s room, lanky form folded into the uncomfortable visitor’s chair, normally tapping away on his clipboard or tablet. Harry’s bedside became his unofficial office, and Merlin ran Kingsman singlehandedly from there. Eggsy was also there far more than was strictly necessary, usually appearing any time he had a break from working with the new recruits.

So Roxy ended up bringing them tea or lunch or whatever in an attempt to keep them from becoming medical’s newest patients. 

And then Harry woke up, and Eggsy and Merlin spent every spare moment helping him with rehab. Roxy then found herself making tea for three. Ordinarily it might have bothered her, but she was just so grateful Harry had woken up and taken that kicked puppy dog look off of her best friend’s face. 

So she really hadn’t minded making all the tea. Until today.

Eggsy had fallen asleep a long time ago, slumped over and snoring onto Harry’s shoulder. Harry, now officially Arthur, had ignored his protégé in favor of a discussion on the new German government with Merlin. Getting shot in the head takes a lot out of you though, and Harry had eventually nodded off onto Merlin. Ten minutes later, Merlin had followed suit, and now the three of them resembled a row of well-dressed and well-armed dominoes. 

In the resulting quiet, Roxy had gone to make herself a cup of tea, strong and black. Instead, she was sitting in front of lemon tea, with sugar, and simply didn’t have the energy needed to make another cup. Muscle memory sucked. 

Heaving a sigh of defeat, she picked up her cup and went in search of Percival. Her brother was always a good sounding board, when he was in country.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

He was laughing at her, and Roxy was simply not in the mood for this.

She continued glaring at her brother until he was quiet finished, and fixed her with an amused grin.

“So Hart got to you too, huh sis?” he inquired far too cheerfully. “Harry’s been converting agents since he was a recruit. I’m a little surprised he managed so quickly with you though, considering he’s been in a coma most of the time you’ve known him.” Catching her confused look, he chided her, “Come on, sis. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that the kitchen is always stocked with lemon and Harry’s brand of tea?”

Thinking back, Roxy realized that no. She had never seen the kitchen bereft of tea or lemons. 

“Who else?” she eventually asked.

“Well, let’s see.” Perce leaned back in his chair and started ticking off on his fingers. “When Harry was a recruit, he managed to win a slew of bets with the old Merlin. Poor Charles ended up drinking the stuff so much he couldn’t drink anything else. You already know about our Merlin, and your pal Eggsy. Gawain spent six months with Galahad in Siberia, he’s smelled like lemons ever since. Caradoc went on a health craze few years back, Harry convinced him lemons had some special vitamin levels. He hasn’t put it down since. Gareth and Kay both drink it constantly. Then of course there’s me and you.”

“He got to you too?”

“Yeah,” Percival said ruefully. “Very long mission in South America. Actually,” he continued in a more thoughtful tone, “I think Eggsy’s dad drank the stuff as well. Maybe it’s family thing.”

Roxy sighed and looked at her now empty cup.

“No. I’m pretty sure it’s all Harry Hart’s fault.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left!


	4. Harry Hart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry celebrates his birthday with the gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since this is the last chapter, I really want to thank icis182, etern, iPage for commenting on this fic, and a huge special shout out to Regency for commenting on every chapter! Also thanks to everyone who kudosed, I'm glad you guys liked it.
> 
> This one's in honor of Colin Firth's birthday tomorrow.
> 
> Hope yall like it!
> 
>  
> 
> _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They had made him a lemon tea cake for his birthday.

He wasn’t surprised that Eggsy was such a good cook. The boy had surprised them all so many times in the last year and a half. It was silly, really, to expect that Eggsy was limited in any way whatsoever by his upbringing, because the moment you assumed so he would snap back up and blow all such assumptions away.

In retrospect, he also shouldn’t have been surprised that Eggsy had figured out it was his birthday. Merlin, the sneaky bastard, had probably taken great enjoyment in telling the youngster about it and watching the lad implode under the flood of ideas that had immediately followed. Harry was grateful that Merlin had appeared to stem some of those ideas, as the party was confined to the HQ meeting room and remained rather tasteful, despite the presence of colorful children’s party hats all over the room.

He was, however, surprised that his young protégé had managed to keep the whole affair quiet for however long he had been planning this. Percival, Gareth, and all the others were world class spies, but there were a lot of them. Eggsy was one of the best young agents they had ever seen, but around Harry, Lancelot and Merlin he tended to devolve into a boundless whirlwind of energy and enthusiasm. And keeping this much planning and preparation secret from Arthur in the middle of Kingsman HQ was quite a feat. 

Judging by the smug look on Merlin’s face when Harry had walked in, he suspected that the wizard had had a good deal to do with that.

“So how old are ya now ‘arry?” Eggsy had obviously returned from trying to teach Lancelot spoons. Harry was rather grateful, as from his college experience he knew a woman as skilled as Lancelot could take someone’s arm off playing that game. At least, he was grateful until the actual question sank in.

“Gentlemen never ask someone their age, Eggsy, it’s -” Harry was suddenly cut off by an irritating Scottish drawl.

“Don’t bother asking him lad, he stopped telling people after he turned thirty. Vain bugger” Merlin commented as he lounged nearby. In Harry’s chair.

“You know that seat is usually reserved for the Arthur?” Harry asked sardonically, not really expecting the query to stop Merlin. It didn’t.

“Aye, but the Arthur is currently celebrating his fifty fifth birthday, and should therefore be celebrating. Unless you’re joints are starting to ache.” He made to give Harry the chair, and Harry briefly considered strangling him with Eggsy’s party hat.

“You’re fifty five?” Eggsy asked accusing. “Naw bruv, you look like ya in you’re forties! Ain’t no way!”

“As gratifying as I’m sure Harry is, he is, in fact, old” Merlin cut short Harry’s preening rather quickly, which Harry found unnecessary as it was, in fact, his birthday.

“You’re only two years behind me” Harry warned.

“And yet still twice as clever.”

“Half as handsome though.”

“Says the man who got shot in the face last year.”

“Maybe, but at least I still have hair.”

“Keeping you in relatively good health so many years is the reason I no longer have hair.”

“I got shot in the head last year, how does that qualify as good health?”

“I said relatively.”

“Are you really going to spend your birthday arguing with him?” Eggsy was apparently starting to get a crick in his neck from watching them.

“Why not?” Harry asked. “It’s usually how I do it. Glass of scotch, listen to this geezer whine about me breaking his tech, trip to theater.”

“Still think he’s not old lad?” Merlin commented. Harry was pretty sure the string on Eggsy’s hat would break before Merlin passed out.

Eggsy, bless the boy, ignored him.

“Well, we don’t have Scotch, but we have about six gallons of lemon tea, a pound of lemon tea cake, and a movie. So drink the tea, cuz I’m dumping whatever’s left on Rox and I’d prefer not to die tonight.”

Of course Lancelot chose that moment to join the conversation, and proceeded to dump at least a gallon of (thankfully cool) tea onto Eggsy’s head after chasing him down onto the lawn. Eggsy reciprocated, and pretty soon there was no more tea but plenty of cake. Eggsy dragged them down to the lawn where he had managed to set up some kind of outdoor theater rig (never underestimate that kid) for the movie.

Of course it was Pretty Woman.

Sprawled in the grass, Harry found that he really didn’t care about the tea stains on Eggsy’s bespoke suit, the grass stains on his own, or Merlin’s constant aging quips.

He was home.


End file.
